[pumpkin and tax]

6 weeks of doing nothing made me fat. oklah, to further satisfy certain quarters, fatter. you guys happy now?

skin shedding mode. felt like a reptile. apologies to swanston, my skin is all over the place. perhaps that's why mansur sakit perut kot?eeeuuwww.

Our nation is fast becoming a laughing stock of the world. Read the papers, you will know why. But not the mainstream media. All you will know about it is the longest cake ever baked or the largest collection of lidi satay by an individual, worthy of a mention in the Malaysia Book of Records. Clampdown on bloggers, booooo. Boo dalam ayaq, blup blup blup blup. People's Republic of China's government often cracks down on its critics as well, but they are communists lah.

[out of control and talcum powder]

24th of July. Day of reckoning. Tipu2. The hour that i will part from my cast.

The doctor cut my cast off using a rusty saw, a pair of pliers, a blowtorch and chicken wings. He used a mechanised saw, it won't cut the skin, better?. Then off to receive a healthy dosage of electromagnetic wave of frequency 10 raised to the power 16 or better known as x-ray.

Turn away now, if gory pictures (pun not intended) are never your forte. Too late.

that wasn't too bad was it? wait till you see my unwashed-for-6-weeks-leg. Due to ethical and moral obligation, i won't post the picture here. Disgusting even for my standard, figure it out yourself, ja.

Still not as mobile as before. Left ankle is swollen from weeks of inert activities. Still need to use crutches. Another 6 weeks of physiotherapy then.

[who is more foolish? the fool or the fool who followed the fool]

Hello. Wait i have to figure out what this winamp program does. there it goes. Rafeah Buang & R. Azmi - Gurindam Jiwa. Who would listen to this sort of repugnant songs? Ah, i remember. My slave used to hunch up over this contraption for hours. I think he calls it his beloved computer. Why would anyone want to love a rectangular contraption. He must be losing his marbles. Erm, marbles.

Oh i haven't introduce myself yet. My name is Mansur. Apparently, I am the ruler of this kingdom called Swanston and i have a bevy of slaves catering to my every whims and fancy. My favourite eunuch is the one called zahidi. The one with the scraggly beard and unkempt hair. He now walks using 3 legs. Hah, idiot, one leg short. You humans will never walk using 4 legs, only superior beings walk using 4 legs, except them bloody dogs. I hate those obsequoius, boot licking, arse kissing dogs. Look at me, look at me, i can do tricks. Look, look i just shat on your carpet. Bloody dogs. Back to my servants, whenever i'm hungry or thirsty, "Oi, food." and zahidi will come scurrying to prepare my luncheon while apologising profusely and begging me not to throw him out of my kingdom. Well, one can only tolerate such incompetence for a short time. One of these days i'm going to box him in his ears, if he ever messed up again. You watch out, you punk.

Enough me talking about that imbecile, let's talk about me. I like to eat although i'm not a fat cat. We cats are never fat. Wonder who came up with that phrase a fat cat. I could eat his liver for breakfast. With some fava beans. That makes me hungry. These days i mostly ate ocean fish confit, comes in bite size pieces. Nice. I offered it to my slave one day, but he wouldn't eat it. I don't think their stomach is able to handle this sort regal cuisine. Fancy seeing them eating those white, oblong shaped, sticky whatchamacallit. Revolting.

We cats need to think for about 12 hours a day. So please excuse me. Running a kingdom is hard work and we think better with our eyes closed. You humans can never reach the level of thought that we are able to perform. Especially not my slaves. He doesn't look too bright though. Never once had i seen him clean himself. He's detestable. Lick yourself clean nincompoop, lick!

Now, i need to lie down...to think. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to my court. Now i need to think how to get rid of my cretinous slave. Perchance, i will push him to the path of an incoming tram. Yes, perhaps i will. This is fun, gleeful indeed. I'll trick him first saying that i left his handphone on the tram tracks. Then i'll come with him, when we get there i'll push him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahah...ahahaha...hah..aaa...a. I haven't laughed that hard since high school. Now i need to sleep, no i mean think. You can never get tired of thinking can you.

This is one of my favourite pictures. I sent a couple of these to my lover, Elizabeth II. She's the Cat Queen of England.


Me on top of Mt. Katildabeldekker, looking over my kingdom.


A picture of my slave. He's disgusting.

Me after a particularly long period of fruitful thinking, only to be disturbed by an idiot with a camera.
What the? Who dares to snap me in such an uncompromisong position? No, I mean that's not me. I would never do anything like that. I believe this is an effort to undermine me as a leader of this kingdom.


This is embarrassing. I mean, I believe this photograph is altered to give me a bad name. I never met that sock who is now sleeping with the fishes before. It must be the rebellion. I shall call my gestapo to arrest whoever did this and charge him with either the national security act or you-can't-badmouth-a-leader act or my favourite magic cleaner act, the IS.....

"Hoi Mansur! Kau buat apa depan komputer tu? Degil dia ni. Duduk kat luar tu, jangan masuk dalam. Jangan ingat buat muka kesian nak bagi masuk."

"Miaow, miaow?" "Ah tak nak layan kau, sapa suruh kacau komputer."

"Miaow?......miaow...miaow."

[arrow of time]

tinggal seminggu je lagi. yes. and more yes. moh kita telan oxycodone barang sepam dua. esok pegi paper mamai, tak pun tak bangun langsung. killer paper, quantum mechanics and thermal physics (advanced). kalau esok tak leh buat, tanpa segan silu ataupun ragu-ragu, telan oxycodone. lepas tu ada alasan, "painkiller i am on. garcon, coffee please. my people will call your people. huh? schrodinger's kitten? did he? or didn't he? garble garble garble.(sambil buat muka mamai super)." why not eh?ja.

[historical studies]

only two more weeks until the cast is off which means only two more weeks before i can hit the rugby paddock again go to the market and buy vegetables again. In the mean time, i should have enough time to fulfill my childhood dream of doing nothing all day long. Wait a tick, i've been doing that for the past month i should be getting on to do something else, say like trying to think about the energy crisis while resting my eyes, on top of my bed, underneath my warm quilt, three soft pillows, with Mansur beside me. Oh yes, i should do that. No more lying around doing nothing. That is so wrong.

[gray matter]

I am no slave to any political factions or ideology nor an admirer of any politician. But i do hold and opinion about the political situation in Malaysia currently. It is utterly disgusting.

All of a sudden, the media coverage for the Razak Baginda trial went downhill. Before this, there were 4 or 5 articles covering the trial, now it's down to one. All because one of the witness said something about a picture she saw. In that picture is a very senior minister in the government, apparently the minister is also a close friend with the accused. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the press had been told to blackout the news about the picture and from what i learned, it didn't even made the front page of any daily in Malaysia. None of the mainstream daily took the responsibility to further investigate the matter, contented with leaving the matter up in the air, shrouded in secrecy. All for the one purpose of saving the water face of a minister.

Come on lah. The people have the right to know. Hoping that the people will always be blind sheep forever won't do anybody any good. After the judicial crisis of 1988, it is a wonder why people can still turn a blind eye. Ignorance is bliss perhaps? Menyampah aku tengok.

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all the people all of the time - Abraham Lincoln-

Don't even get me started on the knee jerk reaction to the criticism leveled at the government. Reply menteri-menteri yang bijaksana kepada foreigner-foreigner yang berani to state the obvious, "Stop telling us how to run our own country."Apa la nak jadi, orang lain la bodoh, dia sorang je yang pandai. Dia criticise, condemn orang lain takpe, nak criticise dia jangan sekali. Foreigner boleh la tak kene apa-apa, tak pun disuruhnya apologise. Kalau Malaysian apa lagi, Kemunting la jawabnya. People won't be telling you pork pies and a bag of tripe all the time, try to look into it some of the time.

Dah la, aku nak pegi membuta. Menyampah aku. Dah la takleh main ragbi lagi.

[the devil you know]

I wasn't playing, yet the morning before Masca rugby tournament i couldn't sleep a wink. Macam aku yang nak main. The tourney is held at University of Ballarat, a place devoid of any form of civilisation.

You will not believe how my insides are tearing me apart, not being able to play. All i could was terpekik-pekik at the side of the field. Nearly lost my voice. There are times when i felt like just tearing up the cast and join the ruck. Alas, I've still got 3 more weeks before i can imitate a headless chicken again.

Congratulations for the Victoria team. Rasa macam nak nangis je tengok korang main. Satu sebab smart, satu lagi sebab sampah, satu lagi sebab aku tak leh masuk. Please excuse me as i went to the corner of the room and weep uncontrolably while i sharpen my knives to ward off any attack from the team for calling them sampah. Congratulations again guys.